Facing the Fear: Surrendering to the Unknown in Your First Ayahuasca Journey
First-Time Fears: Stepping Into the Unknown
For every person considering whether working with Ayahuasca is right for them, there’s a unique mix of hopes — and fears. If deep down we know something could bring profound healing, why do we still resist?
If you’re new to this medicine, you might want to start with my earlier post — What Is Ayahuasca? An Introduction to the Grandmother Medicine — where I explain what this sacred brew is, how ceremonies are held, and why it’s often called the “Grandmother medicine.” Understanding the process can help ease some of that first-time uncertainty before taking the next step.
From my experience, that resistance feels almost primal — a deep instinct tied to survival. The fear of the unknown is really the fear of surrender. Our nervous system wants control; it was designed to protect us. Over time, those neural pathways become hardwired through the ways we’re taught to respond to life.
Where Fear Begins
As children, many of us were taught to suppress emotion.
We may have been shamed for showing vulnerability.
We may have trusted and been betrayed.
Eventually, letting go can feel dangerous. In the body, surrender = pain.
So when people say they’re afraid of what they might see or experience in ceremony, that’s completely valid. The unknown can feel like a threat. But what if the fear itself is part of the medicine?
Turning Toward the Fear
What if the fear could be your guiding light — showing you exactly what needs to be seen, so you can move toward peace and resolution?
Often, resisting the “thing” is far harder than facing it.
What if, instead of pushing fear away, you got curious about it?
When we move toward resistance — safely, consciously, and gently — we show the brain that danger isn’t waiting.
The nervous system learns through experience, not logic. Each time we face something hard, the brain lays down new neural pathways — the foundation of resilience, confidence, and emotional regulation.
Courage literally rewires your brain, changing how you perceive stress, fear, and possibility. Over time, you begin to trust yourself in challenge rather than fear it.
My First Ceremony
During my first-ever ceremony, I was in Costa Rica — surrounded by strangers in a space that had been recommended by a trusted friend. Another friend had gifted me a quartz crystal, which I held tightly all night long like a safety blanket.
In the morning, I looked down at it and laughed:
“That’s what I was so afraid of?”
That first night was pure bliss — full of connection, beauty, and clarity. The second ceremony… that was a very different experience (a story for another time).
Remember This
If you’re feeling fear or hesitation before your first ceremony, know that it’s completely natural — and you’re not alone.
You don’t need to be fearless to make a change.
You just need to be willing.
““The cave you fear to enter holds the treasures that you seek.””
